Too Young and Old to Love You on the Red Line

In these steel teeth,

Scraping sighs,

DD's señora shoes slapping the floor like California rain, I love you

And I can't remember my stop,

My name,

Or who I'll be and was after you

But I wonder when you'll leave me for the second and every time again

The doors close

Cotton cloaks my tongue

We are one breath, you and I

You still bite your nails

You're not really nervous, it’s just

Something you gotta do like clipping hedges in the suburbs that cradled you

I rake my nails on my rotten valley skin

And I think about how cruel it must be that some people just happen to look like you without having to really work for it

Those are the same eyes that swallowed all of my nights And split all of my mornings in two

They're not some fucking thing you just wear on accident

I wonder when you'll leave me

I loved you when they said I was too young to be on the red line I loved you when you said I was too young to be rerouting to your house And asked for my ETA anyways

I’ll ask since I’m older now:

How many people rush in and out of your life

Like they do through this silver fucking bullet?

And how many people can say they love you

Like the girl on the metro you don't sit next to?

If you're going to leave

Do it now

Let this be the last train that has ever held you and I in the same palm

Let it be the last line you and I ever draw and cross

Let me remember my stop, my name, and who I'll be after you All you have to do is leave

And this metro will still run without you

//

Janelle Vargas Navarette is a 23-year-old queer Latina lover / detangler of words based in Los Angeles, California. Born and raised as an 818 girl, Janelle has dedicated herself to a life of art as she can get her hands on. Her work has been published in La Mision Review, literary magazine by Los Angeles Mission College where she tutors writing and acts on stage. More of Janelle’s wriiting lives on TikTok and Instagram under the usernames @janelleslocket and @hijitadelsol.